Wired That Way?
Growing up as I did in the pre: computer, mobile phone, iPod and, dare I admit it, pre-fax age, I’ve never really been a very technically savvy person.
Whilst many males play around contentedly taking engines or radios or some other piece of electrical equipment apart and putting them back together, working out how they operate, how they are made and so on, this is absolutely not me. If I’m really truthful, I’d tell you that I struggle to change a plug, especially if the instructions aren’t to hand!
Some have said to me that this reflects the dominance of the feminine side of my brain, akin to the typical female struggling to come to terms with the wonders of car engines, circuit boards, transformers, electricity and the like.
It may be that they are right about me as, no matter how I’ve tried over the years, I still can’t quite master non-arty subjects such as physics or chemistry or engineering. Nor can I do anything that requires manual involvement such as car repairs (no matter how minor and, ugh, those damaged and dirty nails), screwing a hinge on a cupboard door or hammering a nail in straight . . . whatever.
Yet, put me in front of a blank piece of paper to write something, or show me an artist’s easel or a jigsaw or a crossword puzzle book and away I go! Give me the opportunity in these sorts of areas to be creative in a tangible or intangible way, and I’m positive I’ll deliver. Even better, give me a selection of female clothing, some shoes, a wig, a mirror and some make-up and I’ll happily spend a number of very contented hours getting all dressed up ready to go out somewhere and begin another adventure of my Transgender life.
I’ve read numerous papers by so-called professionals in the psychology, psychiatric and medical communities expressing ideas and suggestions as to what makes T people ‘tick,’ or what’s caused so many of us to be like we are. I’ve spent many hours reading about other ‘girls’ and others in our T community, trying to understand what makes us work, learning about what are the main similarities or dissimilarities between us all.
Opinions differ; even conclusions vary — but the fact of the matter is that nearly all of us display the same, or very similar, characteristics, no matter whether we are from the U.S., Europe or Asia; whether we are now old or young, fat or thin, handsome (or should that be beautiful) or not. . . .
In my opinion, us T’s, have all been hard wired from birth to have a circuitry that gives us a very high percentage of female characteristics, so high that, during many times in our lives, we absolutely have to present ourselves as female. No two ways about it, no debate, and without any doubt on my part I am sure what we do is in-built, genetic. Accordingly, there’s no way any one of us can ever resist the need, the urges to dress as a female when the need is there, or even resist our journey on the road to transition, as the case may be.
The way we have been manufactured means that, as a machine would, we simply have to obey the commands that our systems have been made to respond to or accommodate. The soft wiring part of us, the part which responds to and adapts to external influences, such as family environment, social and other settings which shape our personalities and characters is, undoubtedly, subject to such variables. However, in my mind, the fundamental equipment which drives us all has been created in such a way that we have male exteriors with the components of females within.
Well, well, after reading the above again, it seems I’m not as bad at technical matters as I originally said I was, am I? At least I understand how the human machine works — well certainly those machines in our T community.
Now I guess all that’s left is to try and work out what to do about the incorrect plumbing system all of us T’s seem to have been installed with! ?
Category: Transgender Opinion
About the Author (Author Profile)
Christine has written numerous (at least 150) articles, columns, op-eds, features & stories for well known T magazines, websites & e-zines; she also works as a part time fiction editor for Club Lighthouse Publishing, and is a co-editor of an award winning T-girl Magazine. In addition, she has written 8 adult books mainly in the T sub-genre which have been published by Club Lighthouse Publishing, for whom she has been the best selling author for the last 5 years.Subscribe
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I agree with your opinion. The more science seems to learn about us the more there seems to be a biological basis for our gender identification, though I don’t think it is entirely biological. (Julia Serano has written extensively about gender identity being a function of both nature and nuture.) I fully anticipate the day will come when scientists will classify being trans* as a form of intersex condition wherein the differences occur in the brain rather than genitalia, chromosomes, etc. When that day comes, perhaps then all those who insist this is just a “lifestyle” or “choice” and call us names and advocate violence will cease their attacks and allow us to live in peace.
I share your experience of growing up without the benefit of Internet, blog, smartphone, etc, and with only a single television channel. Although permitted to explore and express a more feminine side when very young, 4 to 7 years of age as I can recall, by the time I was 10 or 11, circumstances of small-town life, found my interests being redirected towards activities deemed by others as more “Culturally appropriate”.
I became quite adept and skilled, at at my directed interests; auto mechanics, basic electricity and electronics, shooting, even gun-smithing, attempting to mask and suppress my desire for more genteel activities. Of course these were only a temporary distraction, and merely frustrated my feminine side.
Loathing these activities, as I did, I was able to use them to an advantage allowing escape from the restriction of small-town life, only to enter military service to where I had to be even more circumspect about my feelings and activities, but imagining that complete immersion in male activities would suppress or eliminate the “Girl-in-me” once and for all.
I suppose my presence on this forum is evidence that all my attempts to rewire my brain to conform to my physical characteristics resulted in failure, and that I’ve only found tru happiness and enjoyment of life after embracing my authentic self.
What happened to all those activities I once loathed as intolerable? I have found them to have served me well, and actually providing a wonderful connection with genetic females who seem to have always been able to embrace whatever skills and competencies the possess without fear or shame.
Living authentically is being who we truly are, integrating all of the aspects of our selves.