The Occasional Woman: Make Sure it Fits

| May 15, 2017

Dear Readers — I hope you had a happy Mothers Day — especially to those of you who had great, understanding mothers! I was thinking about what to write for today — just as I saw a lady walking up the street tugging at her hem. That’s it!

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR CLOTHES DON’T FIT

The first thing you will notice when your clothes don’t fit is this: They don’t feel right. The shoulders pinch, or the fabric screams when you reach forward; your hem creeeeeps up and you have to yank it down, a sleeve falls into your drink. All of these things say that your clothes need help!

Properly-fitting garments go on easily, and stay where you put them.  A skirt or dress that fits does not climb up your thighs — noooo, it waves nicely around your legs as you walk, and doesn’t get all pleated around the waist. If it does either of these things, it is either too small, or needs a slip under it to keep it from clinging.

Your shoulders should feel loose and your arms movable: this can be a big problem if you have fairly muscular arms and shoulders. If you can’t reach for the Margarita, you need to consider a larger size. When you try on a jacket, blouse or dress, stand in the dressing room and wave your arms around in all direction — if you feel pulling, try another size. Sleeves should never bind the tops of your arms, but just rest lightly on your skin. Long sleeves should just cover the bony bump on the outside of your wrist, or they will look chintzy.

Always watch out for buttons gapping or straining — when a garment is just too dang tight, the strained fabric pulls to get away — and the buttons may pop off and put somebody’s eye out.

Britney Spears found out a zipper can blow at the worst time.

An overly-stressed zipper can just come right apart; this happened to me at a wedding. When I went to sit down, the zipper separated all the way down, and my whole back was exposed! Good thing I had on clean underwear!

When bras don’t fit, it soon becomes very obvious. If the back is way up near your neck, it is not doing its job! The band under the cups has gotten saggy and worn out, and it has got to go. If the cups are way up near your larynx, you have the straps hoisted up too tightly, and they need to be loosened.

The waist of a skirt should sit evenly around your own — and not strain to encompass you. A skirt too tight in the hips will pull at the seams, and become all pleaty above and below the hips. It will also ride up! And, if too seriously stressed, the seams could actually split — and then everybody knows more of your business than they need to.

Shoes: If you can’t walk in them, don’t wear them. Period. You will just look awkward and unhappy.

Clothing should lightly skim over your figure, not cling, bind, gap — or try to wear you!

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Category: Fashion, How To, Style

About Lorraine Anderson: I am a native Californian who has been based in the Philadelphia area since 1984. My first CD fashion creation was a gold lamé dress for the now esteemed editor of this publication. Since then I have made tons of fabulous frocks and other fashion apparel for the crossdressing and transgender community. Visit my website, The Occasional Woman or my Facebook page.

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