Does gender matter when it comes to sexual consent? Read this article at Salon.com and decide for yourself.
After reading this heart-wrenching, timely article, I was split in two. There are two sides to every story; this one sadly involves young teens, one that is a female to male (FtM) transgendered person who is now 18, the other an innocent young victim. Was it a crime? Does the crime fit the punishment? Is justice being served, since the transgendered individual gets labeled as a sex offender?
It certainly raises lots of legalities surrounding this new hot taboo, murky, ambiguous topic. Everyone’s rights should be protected. But the target of the sex act was not protected — she was mislead, lied to in order for her transgendered friend to engage in sex acts, a bit narcissistic. This FtM TG was not truthful and did deceive the young teen.
It should never be okay for an adult transgender to do this to another person, so why shouldn’t we hold our children/tweens and teenagers to the same standards? Maybe because they are children, too young to really comprehend what is going on in their own bodies let alone how their behavior significantly impacts the lives of others — especially a young love.
Did this FtM TG youth know she was misleading her friend — leading her to believe she was actually a boy? Yes, she did. She purposely misrepresented herself as a young teenage boy — and had some form of sex. Well, how do you think the girl feels? It could have been her first kiss, petting — who knows –but it was all not real. Why? The biological, naive, young girl thought she was engaging in sexual acts and intimacy with a young boy — not a biological girl, which is a female to male TG and pretending to be a teen boy. But was the FtM transgender pretending or did she believe herself to be a boy?
Of course the young girl discovering that her boyfriend of so many years is really a girl must have been devastating. It is not exactly your ideal first “fling” or love experience. There goes her innocence. Forever.
What about the 18-year-old FtM TG now having to go through life as a sex offender? Their relationship began at such a young age, hormones hit, and the transgendered teen probably felt as if she/he had nowhere to go for help and most likely did not know what to do.
Additionally, despite the fact she is now 18 years old, one would have to wonder — where were her parents? School counselors? Was everyone blind to what this transgendered teen was experiencing? Didn’t anyone see she was struggling?
There is not enough open dialogue about issues such as these. We don not talk about CD or transgender in our schools or homes and if we do most often the information is mal-information, misinformation or just plain ignorance. And the media continues to buttress the myths behind these disorders.
This TG is so young but obviously desperate and most likely so confused. How could she understand all of the complications of being transgendered? Who knew that ultimately it would land her into court as a sex offender? And does the crime fit the punishment? In this UK court it did.
As to the future outcome of cases like these, I strongly believe people have the right to know whom they are being intimate with. If you are lying — how could you ever expect to have a true loving, open relationship — when everything starts as a lie? And who knows — cases like these could cross over the ocean and hit the US.
Early disclosure, education, compassion and honesty are the components needed to ensure that these types of ‘crimes’ are stopped before they are ever committed.
Honesty is the best policy in all walks of life — and may it be greeted with some form of compassion.
Dee A Levy, MA
The Cross Dressers Wife *Our Secret Lives