Full Time

Full time work is increasingly hard to find as corporations send American jobs overseas tax free without caring about the fallout this does to their country, just so their stockholders can make an extra dollar or two. This outrage was supported by…

What? Oh. Sorry Angela. You meant Full Time as a WOMAN.

*puts away soapbox*

As of March 25, 2014, I went Full Time as a Woman. There is no Lance there is only Zuul, I mean Sophie. So what does this mean? It means that I live my life the same as any other woman would. I wake up, put on some makeup, go to work, shop, eat, go to the ladies room, everything… just like a Woman (but I don’t break like a little girl.)

Some would argue that I’ll never be a True genetic woman, and they would be right. But I’m as much a woman as I can be. What changes does this mean? What do I do differently?

Going somewhere without makeup isn’t happening. As I still have masculine features, they need disguising.

As I have breasts, they must be covered. No more shirtless hot days. This is no big deal, as I wasn’t a fan of shirtless anyway since I burn so easily.

Throwing on a polo shirt and khakis for work is a thing of the past. There are outfits to coordinate.

I must ALWAYS be mindful of my voice and walk. This is harder than it sounds.

Benefits? People open doors for me. Every time someone refers to me as “she” or “ma’am” is a joy. By being a woman 24/7, the Pain of Dysphoria has been all but silenced. I look down and see my feminine chest and smile — it’s a dream come true!

So what hasn’t changed? Well most everything. As Christen Bustani recently wrote “Being transgender does not define me. It is a PART of who I am. But it does not change who I am inside and what I enjoy in my life. Life is so much more…. It is about so many aspects, people, relationships, feelings, and memories.” And this is very true. Some things DID change, but the core person inside really didn’t. She is the best part emerged, true, but everything else is still the same. For example, I still love reading about history. I’m finishing up a book called The Star of Africa about Luftwaffe ace Hans Marseilles. I still love the same music. I love the same movies I always did. I still read comic books, though DC’s New 52 has left me cold, as has Superior Spiderman. I’d still game a lot if I had opponents. I still go on Second Life when I can, as the friends I made there are dear to me.

All of my friends are dear to me. That hasn’t changed either. But now is when I find out who my True Friends are. I’ll see who stays with me as I continue this journey, and who falls away. I have lost some friends as I assume they disapprove of my Growth. I’d argue that they were never really friends anyway. That’s how I must see it.

But I look at all the friends I’ve gained. I’d always read that if you simply be true to yourself and like yourself, then others will like you. For the past five years my true self has emerged, and I have learned to like Me. And its True — people have responded: I have made some wonderful friends. Many of these people are among the finest I’ve ever met, and the Best friends a person could have.

Many people tell me I’m lucky to live this dream. And they’re right. I am truly blessed, but not only for the opportunity to live Authentically, but also for these amazing friends I’ve made. Friends who support me. Friends who read my blog and this column.

Friends like you.

All of you. Without you, I could never have made it to here, and the journey would’ve ended.

Thank You.

Tags: featured, full time, Identity, Transition

Category: Transgender Body & Soul