Fortunate or Unfortunate

When you do something right and lack of gratitude, and the extreme — personal attack greets your offering, do you begin to wonder if the statement “No Good Deed Goes Unpunished” is a truism?

What motivates people to make personal attacks? And where is it written that I’m the designated target? I’m sure you understand my position. I guess not everyone learned the lesson of treating others as you want to be treated. Unless you are captivated by vulgarity and expletives being hurled incessantly and without substantiation that should be a non-starter. I guess you could say there’s no reason to utilize gutter language to make a point. Civility should be the mode of operation and it should be accompanied by discernment and a reasonably long fuse connected to your temper.

What am I getting to with these comments?

Venturing into the public domain with anything that comports with your inner feelings may expose you to Neanderthals who have an overinflated view of themselves and what passes for righteousness in their microscopic slice of the world. These (hopefully tiny population) people (and I use the term loosely here) believe it is their inalienable right to castigate, excoriate and ridicule what they don’t understand. Their narrow view of the world is not capable of absorbing anything outside their microcosmic universe.

I am bothered by such liberal abuse of the First Amendment. That’s probably why there is the Second Amendment. No, I don’t suffer from inferiority. I’m not seeking sympathy. If you thought so, you haven’t been reading my posts. But I do bristle at personal attacks; especially from the uninformed, the angry and the frustrated who seek an outlet for their venom. And I don’t cotton to them. I’ll defend anyone under attack and will do so as part and parcel of my belief that treating others as you would prefer to be treated, includes helping those upon whom emotional and psychological vitriol is spewed.

Don’t get me wrong. I count myself blessed that I can articulate. What may seem unintelligible to you feels cogent and clear to me. Chalk it up to a higher level of security than I probably should exercise.

Life feels right when you can express confidence in the face of adversity. When a personal attack comes — and thank goodness it’s not often, I flip the ‘reserve’ switch and overpower negativity with positivity. Once you condition yourself to protect your right to be right, you won’t be put off, won’t be sidetracked or relegated to acting under duress.

I encourage freedom of expression. That does not condone expression detrimental to others. If you have something welcoming and kind to say, please by all means shout it from lofty heights. That approach makes life pleasing and comfortable for all.

In case you’re wondering what this has to do with the price of anything here’s the punch line (figuratively not actually). Kindness goes a long way. It smooths over even the roughest patches of life. Nastiness creates unacceptable environments and one dose of nastiness lingers well beyond the initial damage to feelings. We have an obligation to ourselves and to others to be good stewards of the emotions of others. If you are like me, you don’t have time for the nonsense of others who choose to invite you to be a verbal punching bag. Just because you may be bigger, stronger or more bitter doesn’t grant license to take advantage of the smaller, weaker or gentler. It’s always amusing when the punching bag strikes back. The reaction of the puncher is astonishment, stunned silence and maybe magnification of the initial attack.

But all is not hopeless. Not everyone is aware of their undoing. The following is not excusing these unsavory actions. People are products of their environment. When a person’s environment is negative, there is more likelihood such person will embrace that legacy. It takes resolve and vigilance to overcome the environment.

In closing I offer the following: i) you have no obligation to sympathize — it may only encourage the wrong outcomes; ii) you can choose to empathize — that may enable the object of such empathy to improve their lot in life; iii) don’t lose yourself in the muck and mire of the unsavory. It’s too easy to be drawn down; and iv) nourish your friends and family with positivity. It doesn’t take much to see the glass half — full. It’s really up to you whether you keep the levels high and protect your glass from being absconded with.

I wish you welcoming and fruitful friendships. May every positive energy in the universe be channeled through your power cells.

Love and hugs,

Nikki Nicole DeCaro

Tags: featured, opinion, Transgender

Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Opinion