I am Cate, a mature transgender woman. I am a writer, blogger, parent, grandparent, sailor, activist and happy. I am a widow, and live with my yorkiepoo, Belle. I love music, reading, cooking, outdoors, DIY, theater, antiquing and flea markets, home brewing, and seeing what is around the bend in the road or over the horizon.

I own the website. It is an outreach, support and resource for mature trans* people and especially for those who, like me, came out after fifty.

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Will she be remembered?

| Mar 27, 2017 | Comments (4)

Due to the nature of the trans/crossdressing community over the past few decades people often don’t learn that a friend from their crossdressing life has passed away — one day they stop seeing their friend at the usual places, the local TG-friendly club, or at the annual crossdresser weekend getaway. Many in the community separate their two lives and never reveal their male self to their female self’s friends. Today Cate O’Malley talks about a trans friend who passed away. Cate was fortunate to learn of her passing and attended the funeral — only to find a strange man’s body in the casket.

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Trans Kids – Our Kids

| Feb 27, 2017 | Comments (0)

Trans children are gaining more recognition in the world but there are still far too many who are experiencing rejection by their families, bullying and harassment from their peers and many end up homeless. Cate O’Malley feels it’s up to us, the members of the trans community, to treat these children as if they were our own. She feels it’s up to us to lend our experience and information to the kids and to any parents, guardians or agencies tasked with helping trans kids.

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Calling it Quits

| Jan 30, 2017 | Comments (2)

Cate O’Malley has a few friends who have decided to give up expressing their true selves and go back to living as males 24/7. None of them are doing it willingly. They fervently wish they could continue to be who they really are, but circumstances in their lives have forced this decision on them. Cate shares her thoughts on how hard it must be to deny your true nature after being able to express it, at least part time, then going back to expressing your gender facade. She has advice for those faced with this decision and advice for others in the community who may not look at these people’s decisions kindly.

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My Wishes for 2017

| Dec 26, 2016 | Comments (0)

At the beginning of every year many people use the rolling over from one year to the next as a time to make New Year resolutions. Cate O’Malley doesn’t have a list of resolutions that will probably stop being resolved within a few months of 2017. Instead she has a list of wishes. Things she would like to see happen in 2017. Read on and see what her wishes are.

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Winter Fashions

| Dec 5, 2016 | Comments (1)

Cate O’Malley was out and about and the sights and sounds of the season were everywhere. The sleigh bells jingling, the jolly old elf laughing, “Ho, ho, ho.” And the winter fashions that were all on display. Fleece lined leggings and puffy jackets with warm scarves and silly knit hats in festive colors of the season. She hurried home to see about her cherished winter wear. And there is all was, ready to keep her warm and fashionable through the depths of winter. But then she remembered something….

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November is Transgender Awareness Month

| Nov 7, 2016 | Comments (0)

November 2016, has been designated as Transgender Awareness Month to help raise the visibility of transgender and gender non-conforming people, and address the issues the community faces. The intention is for all of us to use this time to build our voices into one load call for awareness, understanding, education, acceptance and inclusion.

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Getting Made — and OWNING it!

| Oct 10, 2016 | Comments (4)

There are all sorts of words for it; getting read; being clocked; being made. They all mean that while we are out in public someone has looked at one of us and said, “That’s a man.” Most of the time they try to be discreet as they nudge a companion to point us out. Sometimes they proclaim their discovery in a loud voice. Whenever it happens it’s painful. You try to do your best to fit in as just another lady but there is something that is giving your gender status away. Sometimes you just want to run home and hide in the closet. Today Cate O’Malley has another idea. Give her a read and see what you think of her response when she gets read.

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One of the hardest thing you’ll ever do!

| Sep 12, 2016 | Comments (1)

What’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do? Cate O’Malley believes that it’s coming out as trans. Today she blogs about a book and TEDx Talk by a straight man who, as an experiment, “came out” to his small religious community as a gay man. While he conducted his year-long experiment he was met with all of the reactions from friends and neighbors that you might expect, from being ignored to being the object of anger and scorn. All of that is pretty darned bad but Cate feels that it might just be harder to come out as trans. See what you think after you read her blog.

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Lovin’ This Ride

| Aug 15, 2016 | Comments (0)

Accentuate the positive! That’s Cate O’Malley’s message in today’s post. After a lifetime of problems related to being trans she’s arrived at a point in her life where she has accepted who she is and is enjoying her life to the fullest. She’s doing what she wants and being who she wants to be. What about people who look at her and judge? That’s their problem. Cate is just enjoying the ride.

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| Jul 18, 2016 | Comments (1)

Testosterone is not an Italian pasta dish. It’s a hormone most commonly associated with the development of male sex characteristics. At puberty the male body begins to produce more testosterone and with that body hair, a deeper voice, smellier sweat and larger muscles. And yes, a beard. For trans girls the advent of the changes brought about by testosterone can be a severe trial. Today Cate O’Malley talks about testosterone poisoning and how it affected her.

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The Bra

| Jun 20, 2016 | Comments (1)

For over 100 years breasts have been uplifted by a noble garment that is the foundation of a successful woman. We’re talking about the bra. The brassiere. They lift, separate, pushup and add shape to the breasts of women all across the world. But it seems, if we are to believe Cate O’Malley, that it’s a love, hate relationship.

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Crossing the Line Into Hate and Fear

| May 23, 2016 | Comments (1)

Cate O’Malley has gotten her dander up. What has her riled? She lives in Florida in an area where there are human rights ordinances that protect her from discrimination. But she works just across the county line in an area that offers no such protections to LGBT people. What has her angry and proposing civil disobedience is the lack of protections for every citizen, everywhere.

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Makeup, Makeovers & Mary Kay Ash

| Apr 25, 2016 | Comments (2)

Everyone can benefit from a bit of makeup. The proper use of cosmetics can make a bland face look vibrant. A touch of lipstick, a hint of blush and a lady feels prepared to take on the world. Some women will not go out of the house without their eyeliner in place. And, on the other hand, over use or improper application of makeup on a trans woman can be a disaster. How does one learn the do’s and don’ts of makeup? Cate O’Malley has some tips.

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The Purse

| Mar 28, 2016 | Comments (0)

You can tell a lot about a woman by looking at her purse. Some carry small bags with everything they need organized smartly. Others have gigantic shoulder bags with other bags stuffed inside. Some women always carry the same bag with every outfit, while others coordinate their bag’s style and color to the color scheme of their attire. Today Cate O’Malley takes on the topic of bags and puts forth the criteria she has arrived at after conducting exhaustive research on what constitutes a good purse. See if you agree.

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“I’m Not My Father’s Son”

| Feb 29, 2016 | Comments (4)

There are many things people expect in life. Often times not getting what they expect causes problems. Their expectations don’t become reality. A son can grow up to become a daughter. A father can stop being a man and become a woman. Adjusting to the fact that accepting people in your life for who they are and not who you expect them to be can be hard. Cate O’Malley has some thoughts on the subject. Along with her impressions of Kinky Boots.

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I Like Hats

| Feb 1, 2016 | Comments (1)

If blending in and passing is what you strive for when you’re out and about in public then this column is not aimed at you. Cate O’Malley has made a decision to not adhere to the dictates of fashion or to just blend in. She has firm likes and dislikes and when she dresses to go out for the day she dresses the way she likes. She also urges others to do fashion their way. Will that approach work for you?

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2016 Wishes

| Jan 4, 2016 | Comments (1)

Here it is, the beginning of 2016 and I, like so many of us, make resolutions and polish up my crystal ball to try to determine what awaits us in the New Year.  My resolutions usually contain lose weight and exercise.  This year, however, instead of setting hopeless goals, I’m throwing out the resolutions, setting […]

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Full Membership

| Dec 7, 2015 | Comments (0)

Within the trans community there are different factions, cliques, gender identities and opinionated people. Today Cate O’Malley writes about how all those different types of people need to get along and that everyone who identities outside cisgender norms is entitled to full membership in the trans community. Also, they need they need the support of that community.

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Preferred Gender Pronoun

| Nov 9, 2015 | Comments (3)

He, him, she, her, hers, his. Pronouns used in the English language to denote the gender of the person being mentioned in conversation. Markers that put you in the male or female category upon which how you are treated by society rests. Lately a new term has entered the language: preferred gender pronoun. Cate O’Malley isn’t too happy with that term. Do you wonder why? Read on.

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Follow your dreams . . . **

| Oct 12, 2015 | Comments (0)

After hearing the advice “follow your dreams” for most of her life Cate O’Malley has decided that is good advice by it needs to be amended. Not everyone will want you to chase your dreams. There will be those in your life, those you care about deeply, who will not understand your dream. See what Cate advises if that happens when you try to follow your dream.

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I support you, but . . . .

| Sep 14, 2015 | Comments (1)

Cate O’Malley has learned that no matter how supportive people in your life would like to be they may not be 100% on board with your gender choice. Sure, when you first tell them they be with you all the way but might that be them just wanting to not hurt your feelings with their doubts? Or maybe after some time spent with the new you negative feeling might surface. Today Cate runs through some of the “I support you but…” things she has gotten from family and friends.

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Always a Bridegroom, Never a Bride

| Aug 17, 2015 | Comments (1)

All the weddings Cate has attended have required her to wear a tuxedo and be the man. Now things are much different. She is living honestly as a woman. Cate has a single son who will one day most likely get married. Cate has been thinking how different it will be when she attends that wedding. Will the bride’s Great Aunt Fanny have a clue as to who she is? Cate imagines how it will be.

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I Went Back to Church

| Jul 20, 2015 | Comments (2)

Cate was feeling the need for a spiritual dimension in her life. The “old time” religion just wouldn’t do since all attempts to engage with it resulted in no reply. She looked around a bit and investigated other faith communities. Learn what she found in today’s blog.

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Lotions and Potions, Unguents and Ointments

| Jun 22, 2015 | Comments (0)

Cate O’Malley is appalled at the amount of lotions, unguents, creams, and ointments she has accumulated in her bathroom cabinet. If she adds any more skin creams she will have to rent a storage unit. It’s forced her to ask herself if perhaps she has been conned by the skin cream industry.

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I Never Thought I’d Say That!

| May 25, 2015 | Comments (0)

Regular, cisgender, folks interacting with trans people they have known for years can sometimes end up saying things they never thought they would. That’s the theme of Cate’s post today, “I never thought I’d say that!” As a trans person moves down their transition path the changes can often make their friends and loved ones to utter the strangest things.

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Going from B.C. to A.D.

| Apr 27, 2015 | Comments (2)

Cate O’Malley is not one of those who transitions and throws away her past life spent as a male. As a late bloomer in the feminine gender she spent years being a man and what he did and the good experiences he had are things she prefers to hold on to. Find out what she means by B.C and A.D. in her post today.

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